Veteran's Day Special: Fragrances and Depression: How I Recovered

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Good morning, everyone! I hope everyone is having a fantastic Veteran's Day today. I am going to go ahead and preface this article with a warning: This article might offend some of you. It might be too much. You might feel like it is mean at times. You might want to say some really nasty things after reading it. However, this is my truth.

I am not a psychiatrist. I don't work in the mental health field. These are just things I have learned from personal experience and life in general. I don't care if 99% of you dislike me after this. If it helps one person, then it's worth it.

Most reviewers just want to tackle top 10 and reviews, which I do as well. However, not many(if any at all) have tackled this topic. I touched on it last year for Veteran's Day as well. I will link those articles at the end if you are interested.

This stuff is real and it hurts many people. They deal with it daily. As a fragrance family, we need to support and help people who are struggling. Sometimes that help comes in the form of tough love, which you will see a bit of in this post. Sometimes it's with a gentle and encouraging hand.

I am going to tell you a bit about my story in this article, so it's very personal and you won't see many jokes in this. This is serious stuff. Before I get into the article itself, I want to share a poem I wrote. It's cheesy, rough, and not perfect. However, it is real and some of my thoughts.

"A kindred soul that seeks to be made whole
Scars that haunt beneath the skin, revealing all my sin
If they knew what was inside, would they run and hide?
The weight is too much to bear, but I won't give in to despair
I volunteered for this, I knew something would be amiss
There is victory at the end of the road, where I can unload
As the eagles in the sky fly, so will I
I live to fight another day, there is no other way
Victory must be won at any cost, to regain what was lost
The war is far from done, but still being here means I already won"


It's somewhat deep, I know. I hope that gives you a perspective on what this article is about. Now, without further ado. Let's get into it!


My Story

This will be a shortened form of my story. I plan on doing a full story at a later time. However, i will tell you enough of it so that you can make sense of what I am saying.


I was born with mild cerebral palsy in the left side of my body. From what my mother has told me, they didn't believe I would ever walk or run properly. It turns out they were wrong because I was able to join the military and surpass their physical requirements. I have always been the type, that is you told me no, then I would do it just to prove you wrong.

However, that muscular condition did lead to me being a shorter guy. I am only around 5'5" and it messed with me a lot in high school. I felt like I constantly had to prove I could keep up with guys taller than me.

I was depressed that no girls would talk to me. I was a teenager, so my life revolved around that stuff at the time. It wasn't until I started to realize that it was my confidence, not my height, that drove women away. Once I began to at least fake a bit of confidence they started to speak with me. After a while, it became easier because I actually became somewhat confident in who I was.


After high school, I joined the Army in 2005. I served until 2013 with a tour to Ar Ramadi, Iraq(The same place Chris Kyle spent a lot of time in) in 2007. I am not going into details about that, but I will just say some scars remain from that time. Sometimes I find myself not being able to be empathetic with people. It's a daily struggle. I guess that is why sometimes I can come off as a jerk and I don't mean to be.

An old picture of me from my Army days. This was around 2011, I believe.

Fast forward to the last two years...My mother got quite ill. She has diabetes, congestive heart failure, blood pressure issues, and a plethora of other issues. She is also blind in one eye and is bound to a wheelchair because she had her legs amputated.

I stopped working and decided to take care of her. Sometimes it makes me feel stuck. Like I am not moving forward. It also makes me feel selfish that I feel that way at times. I won't go into that much detail about it, but I think you get the picture.

Now, how does this tie into fragrances? Well, we are finally at the part you came here for...


How Fragrances Helped Me

I have always been a fan of fragrances, ever since my middle school days when I wore cheap Avon stuff. I was so proud to have Tommy and Cool Water in high school. So, they have always intrigued me. However, it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized how important there were to me.

I was at a military base. I don't remember which one honestly. I purchased Lacoste Style in Play and Lacoste Pour Homme at a post exchange. Yes, I paid full retail, but at least there weren't any taxes. I wore the fragrances, but I really didn't pay attention to them.

One day I was sort of down, so I was watching Alpha M on Youtube and he was talking about "colognes". He introduced me to Jeremy Fragrance, who then introduced me to a world of fragrance reviewers. I decided to pick up my two bottles of Lacoste and try to smell them. I was blown away when I actually took time to realize these were of a much higher quality than the Avon ones I was used to.

The same bottle of Lacoste Pour Homme I bought many years ago.

I then started researching fragrances and watching reviews. Nautica Voyage was highly touted as a great fragrance. So, I went and bought that on Amazon. Only I was a new guy and didn't realize I actually bought Nautica Voyage N-83. Oh well, I still liked it.

Oops. It's the flanker.

I started delving myself into fragrances more and more. My enthusiasm thrived. Every new smell would take me to a new place, away from the pain and sadness. I could go to a forest edging the Rockies, a mountaintop, a beach, to a holiday party with cheer and joy. Fragrances were linked to so many memories and they could take me anywhere. The options were limitless. Shortly after this, I found the fragrance community on Facebook through Ashton's channel, Gent Scents.

I didn't speak much at first, but when I did there was a guy who was always kind and willing to help. His name is Carlos Colom. He was my first friend in the fragrance community and he helped save me more than he will ever know. He's a brother to me and I am forever grateful for his kindness and compassion towards me.

Folks, this is why I say to always say a kind word. You never know who you might help. Carlos was just doing his normal thing and he helped me. It helped pull me out of where I was. You never know what one kind word can do for someone.

Now, I will stop talking about myself so much. I am sorry that that ran on a bit longer than expected, but I wanted you folks to see where I am coming from when I give my tips on how to overcome this.

Now, let's get into the part you are really here for...


How Fragrances can Help you

1. A Short Vacation

Fragrances can take you places too. You just have to stop and take them in. You can transport yourself wherever your mind can take you. All you have to do is be willing for it to happen. As I said before, there is no restraint on where they can take you. The sky is the limit and you control it. Just embrace it and go with it.


2. Confidence

Fragrances can boost your confidence when you think you smell amazing. That small boost can make things much better in your life and give you a more optimistic outlook. However, this is only a small confidence boost and should not be a crutch, which I will speak on a bit later.


3. Helping Others

Our sense of smell is one of the most finely tuned senses we have. It is a very powerful tool in bringing back long-forgotten memories. I may be reaching for the stars here, but I think smelling nice can actually brighten the day of those around us. The olfactory sense is a major catalyst in our emotional state, so I believe we can enrich those around us, with words and smells.


4. The Fresh Factor

Some fragrances have this effervescent quality to them. One smell just uplifts your spirits. It doesn't have to be a long-lasting fragrance. Feeling drained at work? Carry a bottle of 4711 and give yourself a little spritz. It will uplift you and put a little pep in your step. A nice refresh is good for you. Carry a decant of something you love with you, even if you only smell the cap to get a boost.


5. Dissecting Notes

The act of picking out notes and trying to guess what you are smelling is a good mental exercise for your brain and your nose. Don't judge a fragrance by the opening or a few wearings...Really dive into it and try to understand the fragrance and the creator who made it. Doing so allows you to occupy your mind and takes your mind off the stress.


How Fragrances won't Help you


1. Confidence

John, you said fragrances gave you confidence. Yes, I did. However, they are not a replacement for confidence. That is something that you need to learn on your own. You need to focus on your own strengths and what you bring to the table. A fragrance is never going to mask your personally, but it can accentuate it if used properly.


2. Getting the Ladies

I don't care how many people post in the Facebook groups about how their fragrance got them 47 compliments when they entered the room. I don't care how many screenshots are given to prove it. 99% of these stories are bogus. Besides, the ones that are true are from ladies these guys already know.

Random women aren't going to jump in your bed because you smell good. If that does happen, then you might get something that AJAX can't wash off. Respect yourself and respect women. Don't use fragrances to try to cash in on a one-nighter. Use them to accentuate your personality to find something meaningful.

Grow up and be a man. Your teenage years are done and it's time to stop playing games This mentality will only put your further down the pit of despair when it fails to work.


3. Compliments

If you are spraying yourself 10 times and trying to force people into complimenting you, then that is something you need to fix on your own. It's a lack of confidence and you should look at my first rule to fix that.

Don't let your worth be judged in what other people think. Find your own worth. Be your own person. Pave your own way. It sucks trying to be someone you're not. I've tried it. It's miserable.


4. Bathing

Yes, this is more physical than mental, but some studies(which I cannot cite) have stated that if you don't bathe regularly then it can take a toll on your mental state. Fragrances won't fix that. Take a bath or shower and put on a nice fragrance to uplift your mood a bit.


5. Bad Manners

A fragrance will never mask poor manners. If you don't treat people with kindness and respect, then they won't be drawn to you on your smell alone. This is another thing that you must learn on your own. No one can help you be a decent person except yourself. I think we are all good people deep down. Sometimes it's just difficult to take that first step towards something different, but doing so can have a major impact on your quality of your life.



Conclusion

I have had my share of ups and downs. I have learned a few things along the way. You have to first be willing to pull yourself up out of depression or PTSD, then you can use fragrances as a tool to keep your spirits high. No one can help you except yourself. We can only give you some ideas, but the action is on you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. Depression is serious. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it". It's okay to be sad sometimes. It happens to everyone. At some point, you need to make a decision as to what you want to embrace. I chose to embrace fragrances and blogging about them has really helped me persevere. Keep your head up, folks. I believe all of you have the strength to rise above and conquer. Fragrances are a tool that you can use to achieve this when they are used in the proper way.

I apologize if I offended anyone. My goal is to help people with this article because it seems like no one else wants to touch on these subjects because they aren't popular or hyped.

I want to tag every reviewer and fragrance business owner who reads this to go out and make a video or a post on their Facebook page about how fragrances have helped you through a hard time in your life. Let's show the fragrance community how much we care. That we aren't here just for views or money. That one simple thing can start a spark of good vibes and love that can transform this community into more of a family that cares about each other.

Until next time, stay safe. Be positive. Speak words of life to people. Smell amazing and enrich other's lives. You seriously never know what one kind word can do. Have a fantastic day, everyone.

To all of my battle buddies who wore the Stars and Stripes. I salute you and I am thankful to have served among such fine men and women. Hooah!

Here are the links to my other articles on PTSD and Depression from last year:

Part 1

Part 2

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