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Hey, folks! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day today. I am doing just fine. I've been testing out some great fragrances that I will be bringing to you in the next week or so.
Compliments...This word gets thrown out quite often in the fragrance community. YouTubers and Instagrammers use it as a kindling to start a firestorm of clicks on their pages. I very rarely cover this subject, but I was inspired by a conversation that I had with a friend earlier to write this. There are so many myths and misconceptions about this subject and I wanted to say my piece
In this article, I will be referencing women quite a bit. This does not mean that every woman thinks this way. That would be asinine to state such claims. This is only based on my personal experience with women in my life.
Furthermore, I am not claiming to be any sort of expert on women. Again, these are just personal experiences. I am not even an expert on myself, much less anyone else.
This article is not directed at picking up a woman for a one-night stand in the club. I am not a fan of that lifestyle and I do not promote it.
This is my truth when it comes to these things. Let's get into it!
Preying on the Young
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Influencers often prey on the young and/or gullible with flashy titles that include promises of compliments or getting women to notice you. I am not saying that younger men are more gullible. Only that influencers specifically target them, This is a bunch of malarkey and it's designed to generate clicks. They would have you believe that a fragrance will get you the attention that you desire, but it's not like that in reality. Can a fragrance get you unsolicited compliments? Of course, but not at the rate they suggest.
This also happens in Facebook groups. People suggest that they walked into a room and every woman in it took notice. Tolkien couldn't even write something rooted in that much fantasy. It's just an attempt to get clout or make people jealous. I am not sure why people tell such exaggerated stories on social media, but I guess it's the cool thing to do.
Could this happen? It's possible, but you have as much of a chance of dying from a rabid wolf attack as you do experiencing this "dream" scenario. Take note that there have only been 21 rabid wolf attacks that led to a fatality in the US. That is not per year, that is ever since they started recording them. They are so infrequent that even Wikipedia lists every attack.
Sprays are not the Way
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A lot of these influencers will also tell you to just spray more or they can't smell you. I don't care how much you spray. I don't have to smell you. This is your choice, but I think spraying more to try to receive compliments is not going to increase your odds of getting a compliment.
The majority of my female friends think it's terrible when someone smells like they bathed in a fragrance. This is quite subjective, but in my experience, many other females seem to share the same sentiment.
I am not telling you how to use your fragrances at all. I am simply saying the mentality that some women have towards overspraying. You might be turning more people off from speaking to you than you realize. On the other hand, there are a few females who love strong scents. It's all about perspective. If you are targeting one specific girl(which you should be and not any that you can find), then figure out if she likes strong or softer stuff and go with that.
I am not telling you not to wear strong stuff if you like it. I am saying that maybe Red Tobacco could use 1 or 2 sprays instead of 14 until you figure out what she likes.
Manners Matter
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Manners matter, gentleman. You may not think anyone pays attention or that gal you like doesn't see, but she does. There are some women who don't like polite men, but they are few in number from what I see.
If you are out there thinking someone is going to sleep with you over a fragrance alone, then they can tell. How many other guys have hit on her and told her that she is beautiful? You gotta stand out. Be someone that respects her as a person and not just a body.
How does this tie into compliments? Well, women can tell by your body language what type of man you are. Many of them are not going to speak to you if you come off as arrogant or rude. I am not telling you to change your body language to play a part. I am telling you to become a man that you would want your daughter to date and you will find that women are keener to compliment you. Body language is not a dead art.
Appearance
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People will often tell you that appearance means everything. I say this is wrong, to some extent. Of course, bathing is part of your appearance and you want to bathe at least once per day to find off body odor. No one wants to be around someone who stinks. You should probably ditch the homeless look and wash your clothes too.
However, these people make it sound like you have to be Idris Elba or George Clooney to get a compliment. This is not true. Just be yourself and make sure you are clean. One of the kindest men I have ever known is a guy named Joe. Joe was a tall biker who looked like he would snap you in half for looking at him. Joe was one of the kindest and most honest men I have ever known and he taught me a lot about life growing up without a father. Women adored him for his humor and kindness. He would often get compliments on his clothing just because they enjoyed his personality. This can work the same way with fragrances. Don't focus on superficial things and work on being a better man.
Money means Mischief
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A lot of guys will say money will get you attention from women. This is true. However, this is the wrong type of attention from the wrong women. Gentleman, look for a woman that values you for you and not your bankroll. That sort of thing is fickle and will end in heartbreak. I know. I am 36 and I have been down that road. Just trust me on this.
How does this tie into compliments? Women can tell when you think money can buy them and they will probably be less likely to compliment you. When you have this mentality about women, they will take notice and probably steer clear of you. It ties into them being able to tell if you are respectful or not. Don't be arrogant and treat women well and others will take notice and be more open to compliment you.
Fragrance Compliment Factor
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I often see questions in the Facebook groups about compliment factors of fragrances. While there is nothing wrong with seeking a fragrance that most people will find enjoyable, I think there is a disconnect somewhere.
If you are purchasing fragrances just to get attention and compliments, then I think you are going about it in the wrong way. A fragrance is never going to do that on its own. You are just wasting money because a fragrance will never fill that void in your life.
A fragrance can absolutely give you confidence and help you with your everyday life if you are emotionally impacted by scents like I am. However, I do not think a fragrant band-aid is what you are really looking for and it's only going to make the issue worse.
Don't take this as me judging you. I think we have all been there and sought to impress a woman before. We all learn from mistakes. I am not saying this is a mistake, but maybe you need a different perspective than what is being fed to you in order to find a solution,
The Scent of Love
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Have you guys ever seen a woman and thought she was okay looking, then when you got to know her she became absolutely beautiful to you? Well, fragrances work like that too. If a woman is already into you, then she will enjoy your scent because it is probably comforting to her. It's the scent of your love and care for her. It doesn't matter what it is, usually. It's what she associates with you.
Oftentimes, you are told that you can grab her attention with a scent and it doesn't work like that. A scent just accentuates what is already there. If there is nothing there then that scent does nothing for her. It might smell good to her, but that is the extent of it.
If you really want to capture a woman's attention with a scent, then capture her heart first. After that then she will probably enjoy your scents unless she is allergic. This isn't always the case, but there will be at least a few that she associates with you and she loves when you wear them.
The Man makes the Fragrance
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The fragrance doesn't make the man, so don't use it as a crutch. You make that fragrance better by being you. Be kind, be respectful, and be happy. This is the most important point in this article and why I saved it for last.
Don't try to be a man that you aren't with your fragrance. Pick stuff that fits you and your personality. Wear what you like to wear, not things that will bring compliments. Your confidence is far more important than any hyped-up fragrance. I don't care how many women say they love it. You need to do what makes you happy and extend that to others.
Don't let the "alpha" males tell you that you have to wear something masculine. Don't like the hype followers tell you that you have to wear something that gets them compliments. Wear what makes you feel confident and shine like the gem you are. Women will notice and that will get you compliments because they want a conversation starter to speak to such an interesting and self-assured man. Don't be a prototype. Break that mold and show them that you are a really caring and kind man.
Conclusion
I cannot stress this enough, there is no cookie-cutter way to get compliments. What works for me may not work for you, so some of this advice might not work. I am not claiming to be an expert or to know everything. I am just sharing the realizations that I came to from my own experiences.
Women are not robots made to compliment you. My advice is not a replacement for anything in your life, but only a template to a new way of thinking if you want to embrace it. If whatever you are doing works and makes you happy, then disregard what I said. I am not telling you how to live. I am just telling you what I have learned in case someone out there is like me and searching for answers in the same way that I was.
Remember to be kind and say nice things to someone today. You never know what someone is going through. One kind word can pull someone back from the brink. It costs nothing to do so.
Until next time, much love to all of you. Keep being great and smelling great.
Buy fragrances with an Italian soul. Mozzafiato is your one-stop shop for all of your Italian beauty needs. Mozzafiato (affiliate link)
About my Patreon- I decided to start a Patreon to give people an inside look at my life and my actual thoughts on some things. There are going to be some very raw and unfiltered posts on there about the fragrance community and reviewing, as well as some exclusive fragrance articles. I have been doing this for 3 years now and never made any money off of it.
I am still not asking for money. This is just a way for you to support me more if you'd like and I will give you some exclusive stuff for doing so. The top tier includes you being able to choose an article topic(within reason) for me and have the article dedicated to you on this blog. I wanted to make this cheaper, but it's just not efficient for me to charge less. It takes me 5-6 hours to make an article. Sometimes more if a lot of research is required.
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The 12/25 tier now includes a free Musings of a Fraghead mug with my winter logo on it. You need to sub for 3 months before it ships. (This is Patreon's rule and not my own)
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